Leaves Falling
True Event
At the age of four my parents were going through a separation. My uncle took me into his home to shelter me during this transition. I would wonder into the backyard to play in a pile of leaves. One day, I lay comfortably on the pile of leaves looking into the golden sky, feeling sad and lonely.
I said to myself, "No one cares about me." My tears fell into the bed of leaves which cradled me.
Suddenly my uncle came to me with tears of love in his eyes and knelt before me to say, "I had this over whelming feeling that you were sad and lonely. I will always love you."
I believe the Lord knew what I was thinking and sent my Uncle to comfort me during the loneliest moment of my life.
Psalm 94:11
The LORD knows the thoughts of man.
--- Dedicated to My Dearest Uncle Carl
Deaths Door
True Event--
When I was a child (6 years old) my step-father dragged me down a flight of stairs, placed me into a car, and tied a wire around my neck. He then closed the doors on the wires to prevent me from moving. As I moved the wires tightened, I could not breathe as I feared for my life. I was near death — Pleading within, I said, “God if you are there can you send someone to save me!”
Hours passed, I could see my breath on the wind-shield of the car. I was choking with every breath I took. The winter’s coldness blistered my skin while tears began to fall freezing to face. My eyes began to close; I am numb from head to toe….
Slowly, fainting into unconsciousness all I remember is that it was so easy to let go and go someplace else, a place far away from my step-father, a place away from the pain. I remember feeling safe. Then the next thing that I can remember is my mother opening the car door. She lifted me out of the car and into her arms. She carried me up the stairs.
Years later I was getting some spiritual counseling for healing from my near death experience. I was angry with God for allowing this terrible thing happen to me. Until one night after a serious counseling session I went home and cried myself to sleep. As I was dreaming, vague remember my arms swaying almost as if I was floating. It felt as if I was being cradled. I start to awake out of my sleep and it was as if someone had laid me gently down on the bed. I then opened my eyes thinking I felt so safe. I remembered feeling this way before. I remembered being in those arms before. Yes… it all came to me like a rushing river. My heart knew instantly that it was the Lord Himself reminding me that He was there…. Holding me… Loving me…. Keeping me safe…
The attempt on my life was devastating; however, God turned this horrific event into a testimony of his love. There are things that we cannot remember but I suppose if we take the time to think about those things that we do not like to think about that we might be reminded that somehow the Lord was with us in them.
I pray the Lord show you His Unconditional Love,
--- Dedicated to my Dearest Mother
The Lamb is a Man
The grass was green and the sky was golden. I remember sitting in the grass, thinking of all the reasons why I love Jesus. Suddenly, I heard a lamb calling. I stood up and began searching for the lamb. I searched again and again and could not see the lamb.
I remember feeling disappointed as I started kicking the stones. I strolled over and stood at the end of the cliff. I felt alone.
I kneeled down to look under the cliff to see if there was a place to sit and hide. I sat underneath the cliff and waited. I heard the lamb calling again. I was excited--- I knew that the lamb was close.
I tried to stay calm--- I heard the hooves brush up against the grass. I thought to myself," should I look over the cliff?" Before I could blink my eyes the lamb stuck his head under the cliff and looked lovingly at me. His visit was quick. The lamb then lifted his head and moved away from the cliff.
I was fascinated by the look of the lamb. I climbed up on the cliff and started to chase the lamb. I could not catch the lamb as it was much too far ahead of me. I was very sad to think that the lamb was leaving me. I felt I was going to be alone again. I begged the lamb to stop.
Stop! Please Stop!
The lamb then turns to look back at me--He heard my cry.
Oh how wonderful the lamb was ---white as snow--- with eyes of eternal love. I fell to my knees in awe as I starred into the face of the lamb. At first I was frustrated and unsure about the transformation but soon I understood that the lamb was more than a lamb; the lamb was a man and that man was the Son of God. At this moment I knew in my heart that I would never be alone.
I was amazed the Lord cared of my sadness and wanted to comfort me. I wiped away my tears, and watched the Lord skip away into the golden sky.
God's Heart
Vision in a Dream---
I was walking along a sidewalk, ahead stood a ladder reaching to the heavens. Pillowing clouds covered the gray sky with a ray of hope shinning from the top of the ladder. I was looking forward to walking up the stairs, until I heard voices groaning sadly.
I looked back at the alley because I could not understand why the people where not following. I looked upon the people and to my surprise they had no face. I began to wail, and felt a sense of helplessness.
Beyond the ladder, I saw people along the walls of an alley whom were stumbling and crawling on their bellies. At this point a voice called my name, encouraging me to climb the ladder. Feeling grief and despair, I began to climb the ladder.
I felt unconditional love that I could never have known. I cried "I Love you! Please take my hand as I reached out to the people in the alley." My hand continued to sway them over. Although these people did not have eyes to see and ears to hear I felt driven to help them.
Oh the agony! I was burning up within; I tore my cloths as my soul was on fire. I could not save them.
I cried out "Oh, My God, please help them, please let them see the light!"
Isaiah 59:9-11 (New International Version)
9 so justices are far from us and righteousness does not reach us. We look for light, but all is darkness; for brightness, but we walk in deep shadows. 10 Like the blind we grope along the wall, feeling our way like men without eyes. At midday we stumble as if it were twilight; among the strong, we are like the dead. 11 We all growl like bears; we moan mournfully like doves. We look for justice, but find none; for deliverance, but it is far away.
Once again I heard a gentle voice call my name. I proceeded up the ladder till the sun was shinning down on my face. My tears began to dry. I then felt the Father's unconditional love and agony was no more.
When I awoke, I knew that God showed me his heart. God is in love with His people and wants everyone to see Him and hear His voice.
God is Love
Who ever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love to us: He sent His only Son into the world to give us life through Him. True love is God's love for us, not our love for God. God sent his Son to take away our sins. (1 John 4:8-10) God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God lives in him. (1 John 4:16) I correct and punish those who I love. So be eager to do right. Change your hearts and lives. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him. And he will eat with me. (Revelation 3:19)
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